Reflections

I really enjoyed reading Neal Whitlow's blog. Although, enjoyed probably isn't the best word to use since I felt his discouragment. Even though I'm not a minister myself, I could identify with him quite a bit. Don't get me wrong. I'm not wanting to quit being a Christian or quit going to church. I just feel the frustration that he also feels. I'm tired of the church not being THE CHURCH. We all end up being some kind of secret society/club/group who will allow people to be a part of our group if they behave a certain way or look a certain way or smell a certain way. All of this happens within the church because of one major reason....there are human beings in it. I long to be a part of a group of people who accept anyone just as they are and allow Jesus to set the standard for living according to the word of God. I'm tired of people setting the standards they think we must live by in order to be accepted into the kingdom of God. That's not "our" call. It's God's. The church as a whole has alot of maturing/growing to do and that includes myself. I truly am glad to be a part of the church simply because I need to be around other people who are going through the same things I am spiritually. I do find myself always searching for challenging, thought-provoking ideas presented by other Christians that will cause me to use my brain and use my faith in a more powerful way. So far, my greatest leap of faith has been the adoption process of getting Zoe from China. It's quite exillerating to think about how I as a new mom and Tim as a new dad will be challenged the powerful way that I wish to have. I want to have good "excuses" to use God more and more in mine, Tim's and Zoe's lives everyday. It also scares me to death to admit that in writing or even outloud because being challenged in my faith usually means something catastophic happening where I have no control over the situation. It's at that point that I want to use my faith in God to realize that I'm not suppose to have control over this situation and ask God to do "his thing". ;) There is no greater joy I receive than to see God working and to look back over the hours/days/months/years and see the whole plan unfolding up to that point. Then, to know that He is not even close to being finished makes me so excited because.... There's more! There's more!....and it comes everyday. We just need to look for it with our hearts as well as our eyes. There are alot of things that are more beautiful to look at with your heart than if you look at them with your eyes. I find that the older I get and the more time I spend doing things God's way instead of my own, (by saying "no" to myself) that I desire more and more that my living becomes more of HIM and less of ME.