The title for the sermon this Sunday is "What are you going to be when you grow up?" The subtitle is "How to love growing older." There are two reasons that jump out at me as to why God is pressing me about this sermon.
1. So many people are depressed about the aging process, and look at it as a curse.
2. I was blessed to sit for a while with the lovely Geneva Miller a few weeks ago. We talked
about how beautiful and colorful the leaves were, and how Fall was our favorite time of year.
We made comparisons with Fall and life, and then smiled as we realized that God was
building something encouraging to be shared with everyone.
Here is where you come in...
I need a few jokes about aging. If you know any that are funny, would you share them with me. You can email me at jjriley@adelphia.net , or post them here as a comment to this post. No barking out the punch line before I get there Sunday bloggers.
BYW If I use your joke I promise not to give you credit for it, especially if its funny.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Sunday Sermon
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I've been studying about Moses' death in the end of Deuteronomy. It strikes me how lovingly God handles Moses in his old age, how God told him of his death, took him up to His place for Moses to die, burried him in a private place, and spoke so lovingly of Moses and what his faith in God had accomplished. Just to the end by not letting Moses go into Canaan, but tender and loving toward him. Isn't that a beautiful picture of a relationship with God, growing old in His favor.
Sorry, it's not a joke, but i could tell you the one about two priest, a church of Christ preacher and a nun going into a massage parlor.....
I've heard that one. It ends with the Church of Christ guy yelling, "That's not your rosary!"
That's just not appropriate here, Jason. I believe we've just discovered the line we're not suppose to cross on this blog...hahaha!
;)
Hymns For Senior Citizens
Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up)
It is Well with My Soul (but my back hurts)
Nobody Knows the Trouble I have Seeing
Amazing Grace (Considering My Age)
Just a Slower Walk With Thee
Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One
Go Tell It on the Mountain (And Speak Up)
Give Me that Old Timers Religion
Blessed Insurance
Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah (I've forgotten where I parked)
This boy was failing math so his parents sent him to a catholic school that had an excellent math program.... waalaa.. he's getting straight A's in math. "What made the difference?" his parents asked.
the boy said, "When I saw the man hanging on the plus sign I knew they took their math seriously!"
Oh that's bad.....
I need to listen to more Larry the Cable guy!
How did Helen Keller break her arm?
trying to read a stop sign going 55.
It is not an elderly joke and is not relevant, but always made me laugh.
When you live eyes it is hard to get out of the mode.
I'll think harder.
Maybe it's not us. Maybe it's your sense of humor! ;)
I love your joke Scott. Maybe I should put one in my classroom at school and see if it works!
Leave Mary alone, she liked my joke -- which really was not mine, joke via Mike. thanks Mike!
I know it's too late for your sermon, but I just ran across this list somebody sent me a while back and had to post it anyway:
Some perks of getting old:
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run - anywhere.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
You can have a party and the neighbors don't complain.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You don't have to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You can sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate than the weatherman.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
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