Choices

These days, I think a lot about the progression of life. Maybe it’s because I will turn 30 later this year, or maybe it’s because my life has changed significantly in the last few years. Whatever the case, I’m increasingly aware of the significance of seemingly insignificant choices. For example, within the last few years most of us have known someone who has fallen away from faith, gone through a divorce, committed suicide, been arrested, etc. Each of these scenarios probably began with a seemingly insignificant decision as to whether to take a particular class in college, meet a pretty female co-worker for lunch, try a certain drug, or go to the bar with friends.

When I think about all of the struggles I have in my walk with Christ – the greatest of which is not being able to get completely off of “the fence.” It seems that no matter how hard I try, one leg is always dangling just a little bit on the world’s side; and sometimes, only one leg is keeping me in faith. This can make things really difficult. In fact, I have felt the battle raging within me so fiercely that I have wondered whether or not I’ll be able to hold faith until the end. And I realize that the intensity of this and other struggles is directly related to a seemingly insignificant choice I made nearly 17 years ago – who my friends were going to be. Those of you who know me fairly well or have a similar experience will understand the problem of having your closest friends outside of Christ – and all of the problems with my Christian witness and faith that have followed. This is a decision I regret frequently.

Fortunately, God has been very merciful to me and has increased my faith and understanding in spite of my sinfulness and struggles. I continue to be amazed at just how much little, insignificant decisions affect our lives. Something as ordinary as choosing to visit relatives out of state set a chain of events in action that ultimately led to the suicide of someone I once knew. Incredible. What’s even more incredible is that by really believing in Jesus Christ and deciding to obey his gospel, we are forever setting a chain of events that will ultimately lead us to eternal happiness and joy. For all of my poor decisions and activities, I know that when I hear “well done good and faithful servant” it will only be because I recognized my need for Jesus and accepted his gift: a not-so-insignificant decision.