a Nouwen quote...

When the disciples followed Jesus, they were frequently challenged. Being near Jesus was not a comfortable experience, at least not at first. Jesus' call, taken seriously, challenges us deeply. No one is except from this spiritual process. To find deep and abiding peace in Christ, we must come to terms with some bad stuff, especially stuff about our inmost self.

Henri Nouwen wrote in Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life (New York: Image Books, 1975):

In the midst of a turbulent, often chaotic, life we are called to reach out with courageous honesty to our innermost self, with restless care to our fellow human beings, and with increasing prayer to our God. To do that, however, we must face and explore our inner restlessness, our mixed feelings toward others, and our deep-seated suspicions about the absence of God. (Nouwen, p.15)