Soul Expectation

with Dr. Gary Smalley

“And Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But only one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10: 41-42)


I fumed as I lay in the pre-op room, impatiently waiting for the doctors to arrive so they could begin my kidney transplant operation. What I didn’t know was that while I lay there complaining, the doctors were fighting valiantly to save the life of my son, whose lung had collapsed as he underwent the procedure to donate a kidney to me. He was fine, but during his time of crisis, I was completely unaware, lost in my own expectations.

I did not intend to find myself self-absorbed, physically sick, emotionally out of balance and spiritually isolated, but that is what happened. For about a decade, life’s satisfaction and the enjoyment of God’s blessings were lost to me and I didn’t think I could ever regain the joy I had once known.

I’ve discovered that most people, in some form or fashion and at one time or another, find themselves similarly situated: burned out, fed up, frustrated and out of step with God. We begin to believe that we need more to be happy -- more power, love, sex, food, travel or stuff. Our successes and achievements become hollow, like ash in the mouth. Our hearts become hardened towards God. We stop asking, “Lord, what are you plans? What is the desire of your heart?” We focus on what we want and become ruled by our own sense of how things are supposed to be instead of by the Holy Spirit.

God loves us and has good plans for us, but sometimes our own expectations stand in the way of truly seeing the shape of God’s plans. Until we can truly say with Jesus, “…nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done,” we won’t be willing to set aside our own ego, pride, comfort and sense of ownership and accomplishment in order to glorify God.

It was not easy for Jesus to set aside his own will in the garden of Gethsemane. He knew it would cost him his life! Luke 22:44 says that the anguish of this decision caused his sweat to be “like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

Even after we have surrendered our own expectations to God, they can take over again relatively quickly. But God allows our expectations to be cut down again so that we will continue to trust in him alone. When we surrender our expectations to God, we have to be willing to accept that his plan may not go according to what we hoped. Ultimately, God wants all of us to learn that he is trustworthy and that his plan is best. It is a hard lesson to learn and oftentimes needs repeating, but the alternative is an existence filled with stress, anxiety and pressure.

Jesus asked, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”
In many ways I lost my soul when my self-perception and focus became disoriented but, in his forbearance and mercy, God “restores my soul and leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:3,6b)

This Week
In God’s presence, search your heart to see where you have become distracted by success, wealth, busyness and ambition, or where your own will has ruled your life. Repent and ask God’s forgiveness. Pray Psalm 139 out loud.

Prayer
“Lord, please search my heart and examine my thoughts; reveal the truth about what rules in me and lead me in the way of everlasting life.”