I found this, from Richard Beck's Experimental Theology to be quite be simply profound--
The troubling thing for me is how so few Christians view kindness as being at the heart of their religious practice. I see this as a serious problem. I think this is becausethe Christian moral vision is often too heroic. Christians say that love--that big and heroic vision--is at the heart of their practice. But as they say this they tip waiters poorly, criticize co-workers too harshly, and smile too infrequently. In my mind, kindness is love with training wheels. We need to work on smiling more. Work on tipping well. Work on complimenting frequently. Work on thoughtfulness.
Christians need to take a year to stop focusing on love and just practice kindness for a season. It could be a revolutionary change for us. Let's try hard for one year to make kindness central to our religion. And then maybe, if we get good at this, we can graduate to love.
I see myself as one often caught up in pursuing some heroic vision and missing the significance of what is directly before me. I am slowly realizing that the one very important trait of the godly person is recognizing the importance of the present moment. I wonder what the lonely Subway lady that faces the Sunday night church crowd thinks of me.
9 comments:
Jason,
I really like this post because I find myself all to often wondering why I did not treat a certain person better or act in a better way in a certain situation. Being kind is such a easy thing to do and it not only affects the people you are kind to but makes you feel better about yourself. Reminds me of Jon's class Sunday night when talking about not seeing exactly what a lost soul needs when it is so simple. This has the same repercussions because when you try to act in that heroic way you get lost in yourself and miss what is exactly needed.
I am always telling my girls to be nice and kind to others, but they too often see their dad not doing so. Isn't sad that we do not know what the Subway lady really thinks of us because we did not take that opportunity to say or do something that really mattered.
Hope that makes sense.
Yeah, I does make sense. It is the little things that make the difference. I, too easily, forget it.
Landon Saunders states that the integrity of his entire ministry rests upon how he treats his housekeeper.
Jason-
I think this post hits one of the struggles the world has with religious people head-on...for the most part we're not very nice/kind.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it said that the most frustrating time of the week for waiters and waitresses is after church on Sunday evening. That’s when the church crowd comes in. They say we’re rude, arrogant, we feel as though we’re owed something, and that we’re poor tippers – if we tip at all.
I think it would speak so well of us if we just did what my dad encouraged me to do - and that was said so well in this blog post – be nice, kind, smile, put others needs first. I have a feeling we wouldn’t have to say much about where we attended church… they would just want to know.
They say that you will treat your wife worse than your co-workers, even though you are more devoted to her. I wonder where this leaves the brotherhood in comparison to the waitress. Are we kind to one another? Are we truly selfless and looking out for one another's needs? Do we put our brother first?
Kindness is back to the core basics. Sometimes we need to check our foundation so that the entire structure doesn't crumble. I believe our structure is in love, kindness, giving, and the basic commandments. Reflection is not always fun, but it is worthwhile. In what ways do we covet? steal? lie? Sometimes it is easy to hide or deny our weaknesses, but you can bet your bottom dollar that they are there, or Jesus would not have needed to come.
If we are kind to the outside and devoted on the inside, we will not need to witness, people will be at our doors waiting to come in.
Where does our harshness come from?
Upon personal examination the times I'm harsh with my wife occur when my personal preferences are not followed. "I don't know why you baked the chicken when you know I like it fried!" And then (very selfishly) I let myself get completely out of control. "This is awful! Yuck! You ruined a perfectly good piece of meat." There is not one good or beneficial thing to come out of this harshness (she'll bake it next time for spite of my outburst!)
It's amazing to me what we let ourselves get by with under the heading of "Love."
When I was a kid, the yellow smiley face cartoons became very popular. The catch phrase "Love is...." appeared everywhere. "Love is never having to say you're sorry" started the whole thing. That phrase is a lie!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
To live by this definition of love requires thorough self examination. I can only think of my own shortcoming and how far I have to go.
There have been many instances over the past few weeks of people not being kind to one another. For example, conflict over job positions, teachers complaining about kids behavior in class, parents not disciplining their children and the list goes on and on. Does this sounds like love and kindness.....? We really do need to treat others better than ourselves. We are not perfect but we do serve a PERFECT GOD! AMEN!!
A great teacher in my life taught me that tipping is a reflection of our character and not the quality of service. Our Book says that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. What is it that leads us to being unkind?
Lack of perspective?
Misplaced sense of justice?
Requiring remorse for forgiveness?
Mismanaged priorities?
Simply the act of living can be hard. We are assailed on all sides by iniquities and temptations. Everybody is struggling, in their way, just like you are. So, if you can help – help. If you can forgive – forgive. If you can lighten someone’s load – do. If you cannot do these things – be still.
-- Matt Cram
We need joy. Joy flows from meaning and purpose permeating our lives. Meaning and purpose must be anchored in God.
Otherwise, we grow increasingly bitter, jaded, even hateful; and we take it out on people who truly aren't responsible for our personal emptiness.
That is so true about the "church crowd" and their reputation for being bad tippers or no tippers, as well as being disrespectful. I've heard some really bad stories through my years of working with teens at school about how "Christians" treated them after church when they came in to eat at the restaurants where they worked. Actions speak much louder than words. Sharon
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