He who attempts to do things for others or for the world without deepening his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and capacity to love, will not have anything to give to others. He will communicate to them nothing but the contagion of his own obsessions, his agressivity, and his ego-centered ambitions, his delusions about ends and means.
Thomas Merton
I've been reading Mere Discipleship by Lee Camp. It's been a good read. This quote is from the book. I struck me as worthy of repeating for many reasons. It is a great synopsis of what Camp is trying to convey in his book. More than that, Merton's words speak to the essence of the journey of life. In my own life is see this process at work (and I know I am not alone here): I am steadily seeking to do things that are good; meanwhile, I am frequently undoing the work I've been steadily doing. In the midst of struggling to solve a problem I realize that I am one of the causes. Thankfully, God is well- accustomed to solving problems with those who are themselves a part of the problem.
Merton's words prove true to me because I realize that I must grow in self-understanding. I must be capable of seeing myself as part of the problem. I must find freedom from the powers (sin) that works in me to cause the problem. I must have the integrity to see these dual purposes at work within me, and the integrity to hold myself accountable, and the integrity to seek change in my heart and life. And all this is the development of a greater capacity to love.
Finally, I love the concept of a capacity to love. It is a powerful concept to grasp. If I relate love to physical strength, I could express it like this: One level of friendship would be to say that I will give my strength to help my friend accomplish a physically difficult task. A greater level would be to commit to developing my strength, to become a stronger man, so that I can do more when my friend and I work on his project. Capacity to love is something the disciple of Jesus is seeking to expand. Some of the most painful of growing pains are those that result when my capacity to love is being stretched.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Capacity
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5 comments:
As always, good points Jason! I was thinking about something similar. You know during Christmas season we like to identify "needy" people and help them buy gifts for their kids, we give a little more money to the Salvation Army, maybe donate some food here and there - but come January 1st, it usually ceases. Which makes me wonder if our giving is more for ourselves than others. People also get hungry between January and November, needy children are needy for those 10 months also, and hurting people do not just hurt during the holidays. I find myself getting more liberal this time of year but realize that the prostitutes are still living under the viaduct on the east end of Portsmouth year round. There are families year round that must bum toilet paper from their neighbors, and people are still crying alone and hurt long after/before the christmas lights go up/down. A legitimate question is posed here: Is our capacity to love expanding?
Very challenging!
When I decide that I will make a step toward doing more for the "poor-less fortunate," immediately I am confronted with the complexity of the situation. Poor people in "real life" are not like poor people in the movies. In the movies, poor characters are written to be relatable to us middle-class movie watchers. They are played be attractive actors with straight teeth and subtle charm. They are good and honest, just like you and me, but have simply suffered an identifiable injustice.
In reality, poverty is not easily disentangled from bad choices, mental issues,and poor character. Of course, neither is wealth. But its different in wealth. Teri Druesi-Smith (Bridges Out of Poverty) put it well: When talking about a specific person living in poverty, someone will say, "Well this person has made a lot of bad choices," to which Druesi-Smith replies, "So has Paris Hilton!"
Generally, the response to the overwhelming complexity of impacting poverty is to find something easier to do. But how do we justify turning our back on this reality? Easy-we identify something wrong with people in poverty and conclude that they deserve poverty. We cling to notions like, If people would simply work harder, or , if they would just get a job, or, if they would stop smoking and invest the money, etc.
My hope for the Benevolence ministry at Sunshine is that, at least a few of us would commit to wrestling with these issues over the long-term, and work and work and work with it until we find ourselves making some impact.
persistence in a work like I'm describing involves a deeper self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and capacity to love.
Thank you, Eric, for the stimulation.
That's true --"material poverty" is not dyed from a Hollywood mold. And it's not just the result of poor personal choices - although, it could be. And it's not necessarily a reflection of "spiritual poverty" - although it could possibly be. It's a state of being that we deem as intolerable, unjust, and wrong. However, the Lord may have pointed to "material poverty" as a desirable state. I'm reminded of the parable of the Rich Young Ruler and when Jesus said, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Then of course, He goes on to state that "with God all things are possible." From this dialogue between Jesus and His disciples, I suspect we could say that it is easier for a poor man to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. If this is true, then ultimately "material poverty" should be more desirable state than "material wealth." The real problem with poverty is that so many of us Christians have so much, while other brothers and sisters around the world are hopelessly needy – and we feel no real continual need to respond (except perhaps during the holiday season). We look at things through several lenses. We look through the socio-economic lens and see classes of people, and identify ourselves at some point on the class-scale. We also look through the geo-political lens, and in some ways consider those Christians in poverty in foreign lands as somehow "lesser." We wouldn't tolerate such things for our own physical families, yet lose no sleep at night about our eternal brothers and sisters doing without. We also look increasingly through the lens of self “Is this good for me?” I find it interesting in American churches that our priorities stated are often not our priorities lived out. Having said all of this I am convicted because I will probably waste some money at Wal-Mart this afternoon, eat too much tomorrow, and still skimp on my contribution to the Lord's work. We are a presumptuous people aren't we? We take for granted that our jobs will be here tomorrow, that our income will only increase with age, and that our standard of living will be richer down the road. I sometimes fail to remember that even the air I breathe and the ability to breathe that air is all at the mercy and will of God.
I appreciate what you have expressed. It is difficult to speak or write with clarity when evaluating oneself against a larger backdrop of religious or socioeconomic issues, especially, when wrestling with the realization that I need to re-think my position. To critique myself is tantamount to criticizing all of my family and friends who occupy the same place religiously, socioeconomically, etc.
What I'm really attempting to say is, "Help me along on this journey of self-understanding." It is difficult to simultaneously express a deep appreciation for my heritage and up-bringing, while aggressively striving for spiritual growth. At every level of humanity, whether it be individual or societal or anywhere in between, there has and always will be a great tension between the forces of stability and change. Health requires both.
Anyway, as I read your comment, I see that longing for a deeper understanding, freedom, integrity, and capacity to love.
Some other people are really gonna have to get back to interacting on here. They don't know what theyre missing. Thanks for the feedback! I hope everyone who reads this knows that I'm being self-critical as well.
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